the tings we’ve done to dis man’s inglish

we have done tings to dis white man’s inglish he never intended. we the Blacks

I was on the farm the other day workin an listenin to some good ole Mississippi delta blues. Chasin dat devil and the guy was rocking and rolling along. Dont remember the name or the song, Luther somebody. One of the Luthers.

He was singing about his wife. How she walk how she talk. Too much. How she cook, good. how she clean how she looks how he love her and how she loves him and he came home one early morning at sunrise and she served him a nice hot breakfast, looked him in the eye and said, Luther! Another mule is kickin in your door

Another mule is kickin in your door. Further she said nothing and went on about her daily chores around the house.

Play dat gi’tar Luther

Which remember me. I was down in dubai scuntry back in the days drinkin an watchin football and was one lie an tan’lise after the next. Well i jus off in the corner laffin when something funny an keepin to m’self but one time i laff lil too hard and the man of the moment get vex watch me an jump up

dis one hey is a fuckin fish. Y’all ain know duh? up in de corner skinnin he teeth

the gatherin went wild. somebody seh oh shiiit. somebody else seh marco yuh ain got nuttin fuh seh fuh yself bai? dis man jus call you a fish

YES! He’s a fuckin fish. eva see he wid a ‘oman? I nevuh.

to which someone promptly responded, like yuh is a peep man or wuh? yuh peepin marco

this football slash alcohol craziness went on for a while and one of the boys said but marco, yuh gah seh sumting fuh yself. How yuh gon leff dat out deh like duh?

so i get up and clear meh throat like i got something important to say. Everybody stop talk and place get silent. So silent i get lil nervous but i done get up a’ready so i had wss to seh something now

Friends, frenemies and fellow fisher folks.

I was immediately interrupted by my accuser. see wuh ah tell yall bout dis damn fish. Who invite dis banga fuh come hey?

No! No! No! Leh de man tawk. You done seh wuh yuh gah seh a’ready. Leh de man talk. The speaker of the house having restored order i rose again and started over.

Friends, frenemies and fellow fisher folks. We are gathered here today to watch this football match. Nobody din tell me we was gon be gettin into my fish business today. Since the gentleman from lodge bring it up. Yes i does do a lil fish business with his the mother of his chirren dem on again off again.

A couple people.laff out loud. Some look round fuh permission to laff and the rest looked worried. Before i could sit back down he took a wild swing with a banks beer bottle my way shouting marco yuh scunt gon pay fuh duh. yuh eyes pass me.

Fish cause all dis madness. The speaker grabbed the bottle hand and shout doan knock he. is marco, all uh we is fren. ow ow leh we live like people nuh. Marco yuh wrong fuh dat but tight pants it ain call fuh violence

We watched the rest of the game in uncomfortable silence. Then the bar man put on Sparrow

one BG plantain full up de pot

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