simple farmer

the other night when i said i almost get kidnap i wasnt joking

it was a dark rainy night and i went to the grocery store alone. mistake number one and two. I had no business being deh in de fuss place. was beer i been going and buy and maybe some fruits

I had to pass through the healthy people section to get to my stuff when an old lady roll up on me pointing an organic cacao powder pack at me. I held strict to my new york subway no eye contact rule and try to slide by but she cut me off and had me right up against the sparkling water. I stop and made eye contact. she was smiling big

Can you read this for me please, tell me if i can make hot chocolate with this.

I complied. Flipped the thing over, adjust my eyesight and start reading the how to make hot chocalate from cacao powder diligently.

Yes! Yes! THIS IS PERFECT FOR HOT CHOCLATE. Hot chocalate making instructions. Put two tablespoons in a cup of hot water blah blah blah

something seh look up. when i look up de lady smiling and not even listening to me. she just hovering close and blocking all my escape routes. damn! is trick i jus get trick wit the please read this for me move. I cant go down like this in grocery outlet. This cant be how it ends marco. This cant be how it ends

Then she said, don’t move!

It took three tries to get this lady to tek back she cacao powder. She move back lil bit and i move off the sparkling water shelf but i was kinda dazed like she hypnotise me. but my body fighting right cause we gotta get outta here. All the while she jus rapid fire talking and i lying and moving

Take out your phone. Save my number. Call me now. Where you live? Where you from? What you doing tonight? You look like a strong boy. I could teach you a lot ot things papi, a lot.

PAPI?! Is wuh really goin on in dis store tonight? and white people shopping all around me like nothing as i in crisis. I start walking backwards pass the egg and meat section but she was keeping up and it was a battle

I gotta go

No dont go papi

By now i am running to create separation and she shouted in desperation wait for me outside

Wait fuh you outside? woooooo! I forgot where i was and what i was doing here. Fly past the fruit section. Grabbed a bottle of wine. Pass the beer section. Grabbed a packet of dehydrated dragon fruit and run to the cashier.

Wine and dehydrated dragon fruit. Hmmm. How you doing tonight?

I’m late for a meeting. No bag please. No time for small talking.

I go outside back in the rain and ran a confusing route back to the car then i turned to the lord in prayer

sweet baby jesus we haven’t come dis far to come dis far. Dont let that lady see what vehicle i go in or me and you goin up de road tonite. Amun ra.